.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
