You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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