I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
