I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
