You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
