I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
