tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize