a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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