My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize