So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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