Already got asked if we're dating
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
