While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
