a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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