I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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