I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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