My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
