i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
