we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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