Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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