6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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