I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
