i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
