I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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