You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
