Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?

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(541): View more from Oregon

There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?

(253): View more from Washington

Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.

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(219): View more from Indiana

Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.

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(310): View more from California

I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.

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(425): View more from Washington

can jess come too?

(901): View more from Tennessee

sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.

(425): View more from Washington

she comes with her own booze, no worries.

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