she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did you pee in the oven last night??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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