I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
