return my video game
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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