we're blogging at a bar
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
