My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
