Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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