Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dick very happy bro
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
