What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
