That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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