Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
