I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
