belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Houston, we have a squirter
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
