Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize