420 ftw
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize