I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
