it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
