so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
