Already got asked if we're dating
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
