its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
