Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
