White coat. Heels.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
