I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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