we're blogging at a bar
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
