Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
