Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
