babies were throwing up all over the place
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
