You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
