he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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