He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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