I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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