Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
