we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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