so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
