I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
